Things that bother me ...

There are certain things which bother me wrt SO. Probably in the normal course of things these things wouldn't bother me as much, but given the fragile nature of our relationship, it does.

SO has installed (some time ago) a compressor pump in the borewell in her farm. She's calling her sister to operate (inaugurate) the pump the first time. There's nothing wrong with any of this, but it bothers me that I was given this update only as an aside. It makes me feel left out. Sharing of events etc has become nil. :|

Melancholic - not depressed.

Received a call from SO today. She inquired about Klinjo - it was a happy mood. I then told her about her trading account and said she could withdraw the money, if she desired. I actually expected her to ask me continue operating the account, but she said that she'll withdraw the money and prefer to close the account - I was disappointed.

Status update

The last few days since the last post have been uneventful wrt to mood. Today evening (6.20) I sent SO an sms asking her to call when free, but till now there has been no call. :( Feeling let down.

Still upbeat

Went out with the Sgr team - visited all the gardens on the boulevard.
It has been very cold recently, last night it touched 0°C, now it is 3°C. Billy is now sleeping with me - keeps one warm.
Mood still upbeat despite a severe cold. May Allah give me the strength to carry on as now.

Events and emotions

I had a theory that depressed people would attribute their depression to the nearest external setback that happened and that there were no real link between their mental state and their emotions. However recent events that happened do not point to that. I am upbeat since relations with SO have been on an upswing, despite another unexpected setback that happened recently.

Relief

The relief and peace that I've been having since yesterday evening is unbelievable. Though the medical model for psychiatry believes in giving medication for conditions like depression, external stimuli can have a significant impact on one's mental state. Hence I believe that counselling can be very effective as treatment for depression etc., unless there is an underlying organic cause.

Breakthrough

SO called! after 11 + days and I was TRULY elated. We had a meaningful interchange; no accusations, no emotions running high. SO decided to introspect and get back...
Keeping fingers crossed.
PS: Praying to Anjaneya seems to help.