Hypnagogia

I was in a hypnagogicor hypnopompic state today morning (4.30 am). Had clarity of thought with obvious solutions to problems - I was able to view everything with remarkable clarity.

Emotionally I feel stable and my mood is positive. Is this positive phase of an oscillating rhythm?

Events and emotions

I had a theory that depressed people would attribute their depression to the nearest external setback that happened and that there were no real link between their mental state and their emotions. However recent events that happened do not point to that. I am upbeat since relations with SO have been on an upswing, despite another unexpected setback that happened recently.

Relief

The relief and peace that I've been having since yesterday evening is unbelievable. Though the medical model for psychiatry believes in giving medication for conditions like depression, external stimuli can have a significant impact on one's mental state. Hence I believe that counselling can be very effective as treatment for depression etc., unless there is an underlying organic cause.

I need to grow up

My behavior today morning was totally uncalled for. Shocking, I would call it. Juvenile behavior - no wonder SO observed that I am not man enough.

Strange - I am extremely tolerant in formal interactions, but become an intolerant demon with close people. Not a desirable trait at all. I wonder if everyone is like this.

VaethaaLam Murungaimarathil...

Today morning I once again had a wild fit of temper.

Is it only because of external stimuli? or is it because of internal hormonal changes, and external stimuli are just convenient pegs on which to hang the blame?

The stimulus was innocent enough and did not warrant a full blown temper tantrum like the one I threw. So it could be a changed internal state.

Online relationships

I find online relationships comfortable. Why? I have the benefits of the relationship, without having to commit to the relationship. Break-ups are easy.

Edited on Feb 12, 2013 to add: JB's post, A case for superficial friendships seems appropriate in this context.